Individual Relationship Therapy

Based on the Gottman Method

Dealing with a Reluctant or Ambivalent Partner

It’s common in my experience to listen to individuals who want to repair a relationship but feel like they don't have the buy-in from their partner who is reluctant or ambivalent about participating in couple’s therapy. If your partner is hesitant, start by exploring the reasons behind their ambivalence and what it may be communicating.

Often, reluctance stems from fear of the unknown. Your partner may be having some thoughts much like the ones listed here:

“The therapist will just take your side. I’m always the bad one. ”
“It hasn’t worked out before, why would it work now?”
“If we go to therapy, it means our relationship is over.”
“I don’t believe in therapy.”

These thoughts can be hard to contend with because they come from a potentially negative self-concept, a place of hopelessness, or faulty belief system.  

You can help reduce their apprehension by sharing helpful resources ahead of time, such as links to therapist websites, informative articles, or arranging a brief consultation call where they can speak with the therapist and ask questions. These small actions can help your partner gain clarity and feel more at ease.  In many cases, once your partner meets the therapist and experiences the potential benefits of therapy, they feel more open to participating.

Even if your partner remains reluctant, individual therapy can still create positive changes. A therapist can honor and respect your partner’s stance while helping you focus on how your relationship arrived at its current challenges—and guide you toward solutions that work for your specific situation.

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Rebuilding Connections and Strengthening Relationships Starts with You

When relationships feel strained, it’s easy to feel stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure of where to turn. Whether you’re navigating ongoing conflict, recovering from trust issues, or feeling disconnected from your partner, Individual Relationship Therapy provides a personalized, empowering approach to address these challenges.

Rooted in the research-backed principles of the Gottman Method, this therapy focuses on equipping individuals with the tools to understand their patterns, improve communication, and create lasting relationship change—whether or not your partner is actively involved in therapy..

Current Trends in Relationship Therapy

Modern therapy acknowledges that healing and growth don’t always begin with both partners. Increasingly, people are turning to individual therapy for relationship issues, whether they’re single or partnered.

The Gottman Method, a leading evidence-based approach to relationships, recognizes that small, intentional changes in your behavior, emotional awareness, and communication skills can ripple outward, transforming the dynamics of your partnership.

Why Choose Individual Relationship Therapy?

Relationship difficulties can feel isolating, but you’re not alone. Many individuals struggle with:

Self-Doubt:

Feeling stuck in toxic patterns or questioning your own value in relationships.

Trust Issues:

Recovering from infidelity, broken promises, or lingering resentment.

Loss of Intimacy:

Emotional or physical distance that leaves you feeling disconnected.

Conflict Escalation:

Repeated arguments that never seem to resolve.

Communication Breakdowns:

Feeling misunderstood, unheard, or unable to express your needs.

Traditional couples therapy often requires both partners to participate, but individual therapy empowers you to take the first step toward healthier relationships.

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Benefits of Gottman-Based Individual Therapy

We will teach you the same things we teach our couples!

Working one-on-one with a therapist trained in the Gottman Method offers unique benefits:

• Identify Relationship Patterns: Gain insight into how past experiences, attachment styles, and conflict patterns shape your relationships.

• Improve Emotional Regulation: Learn proven techniques for managing overwhelming emotions like anger, defensiveness, or criticism.

• Strengthen Communication: Develop skills to express your needs effectively and foster understanding with your partner.

• Rebuild Trust: Work through betrayal or breaches of trust, even if your partner isn’t ready for joint therapy.

• Enhance Self-Awareness: Build confidence in setting boundaries, advocating for yourself, and understanding your role in relationship dynamics.

  • Increase Sense of Self Empowerment:  gain more control over your life, making  decisions and taking action that positively impact your relationship and get you closer to where you want to be.  

 Potential Advantages of Individual Relationship Counseling

  • You may feel freer to express thoughts and feelings without your partner present

  • It may be easier for you to accept responsibility for your part in the problem without the need to defend yourself against your partner’s blame

Whether you aim to repair an existing relationship or prepare for a future one, this personalized approach fosters resilience and emotional well-being.

The Gottman Method is rooted in decades of research, providing actionable strategies for creating healthier and more connected relationships. Here’s how individual therapy can lead to meaningful change:

  • The Gottman Method identifies four destructive communication patterns: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Individual therapy helps you recognize and replace these patterns with healthier alternatives, reducing conflict and fostering connection.

  • Emotional awareness is key to successful relationships. Through individual therapy, you’ll learn to understand your own emotions and respond to your partner’s feelings with empathy and compassion.

  • As you make changes, you may notice your partner becoming more open and engaged. Research shows that relationships often improve when one partner demonstrates consistent efforts to rebuild connection and reduce negativity.

  • Studies indicate that personal growth—whether in communication skills, stress management, or self-esteem—has a positive impact on romantic relationships.

Who Can Benefit from Individual Relationship Therapy?

Individual therapy is appropriate for anyone who:

• Feels stuck in unhelpful or repetitive relationship patterns.

• Is recovering from a breakup, separation, or divorce.

• Wants to address personal issues, such as jealousy or anger, that affect their relationships.

• Wants to improve communication and conflict resolution skills.

• Is ready to address relationship issues via a focus on their own contributions, rather than focusing on their partner’s contributions.

• Desires more fulfilling relationships but struggles with vulnerability or intimacy.

What to Expect from Individual

Gottman-Based Therapy 

man sitting on couch with a computer

Working individually to address relationship issues is a collaborative, empowering experience. Your therapist will:

1. Understand Your Story: Through in-depth assessments, explore your unique relationship challenges, goals, and history.

2. Develop Actionable Goals: Identify the areas where you want to grow and make a plan to achieve them.

3. Teach Proven Tools: Learn and practice Gottman Method techniques, such as managing conflict, enhancing emotional connection, and building trust.

Therapy isn’t about assigning blame—it’s about equipping you with the skills and insight to create healthier dynamics, no matter where you are in your relationship journey.

The Evidence Behind Individual Relationship Therapy- Any Change in the System helps the Whole System

The effectiveness of individual therapy for relationship improvement is backed by research. Studies have shown:

  • Research by Dr. John Gottman suggests that improving individual behaviors—like reducing criticism or increasing expressions of gratitude—can significantly enhance relationship satisfaction.

  • A 2020 study in Family Process found that individual therapy aimed at improving emotional regulation and communication skills can lead to positive changes in both partners, even if only one attends therapy.

  • As individuals learn to manage their own stress and triggers, overall relationship conflict tends to decrease.

Start Your Journey to Stronger Relationships!

Taking the first step toward relationship healing is an act of courage. With the support of a compassionate, skilled therapist trained in the Gottman Method, you can begin to transform your relationships by focusing on what you can control.

You don’t need to wait for your partner to join you. Start today and build the foundation for the connected, fulfilling relationships you deserve.

Schedule Your Consultation Now to learn more about how Individual Relationship Therapy can help move your relationship forward.

Online Thearpy Sessions Available

14701 Detroit Ave.

Lakewood OH 44107

Suite 775

Phone number: 216-512-3052

From the East

  • I-90 W/OH-2 W in Bratenahl from Doan Ave, Hayden Ave and Taft Ave

  • Continue to Cleveland

  • Follow US-20 W/US-6 W to Detroit Ave in Lakewood

From the West

  • OH-176 N from Brookpark Rd

  • Continue on OH-176 N. Take I-90 W to W 140th St. Take exit 165B from I-90 W

  • Take Bunts Rd to Detroit Ave in Lakewood